Isn't it funny how life works out? A few days before my Halloween party, I came down with a terrible bug which involved throwing up, sore joints, pale, waxy skin, crusted over eyes and cracked lips. Suddenly, the look that I had been hoping to achieve by makeup was facing me in the mirror. "Oh goody" I croaked, "I'm starring in The Exorcist!"
Now for me, Halloween is like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. It's that episode of the Brady Bunch when all Mrs Brady wants to do is sing at some event for Christmas but she loses her voice. So in an effort to get better I was summarily shipped off to bed by Mr NQN, this time with little protest as I was too weak to do so. I moaned, sniffled, tossed and turned, couldn't sleep because of my blocked sinuses and shivered under the blanket. You see, it's all very fun to do this for play but much less fun to do it in real life!
But I had lots of things to do in the week leading up to my Halloween party. I had lots of Halloween recipes swirling around in my head. I wanted to pick up some cloches, those wonderfully old fashioned silver domes. My theme was an old fashioned gothic mansion. Cloches are actually quite difficult to track down so I put a shoutout on Twitter where lovely chef Luke Murray of OBar and Dining offered up theirs. They're no longer used for service so I drove in one lunchtime, made a mess of his directions and kept missing the turn to get into their loading dock.
Around and around I went around the city and I made three "flybys" to get into the lane. I finally got there and they were absolutely worth it. They technically needed a polish because they hadn't been used in a while but they were perfect as they were for my party purposes!
Anyway that's enough pre party jibber jabber. Take my gnarled hand and let me lead you into this year's Halloween party! But a little warning my pretties, this is a very, very long post and there are a lot of photos!
Ventriloquist doll
The day of the party I awoke and it was a Hallowe'en miracle but I felt better. Not singing like Mrs Brady better but good enough to enjoy my party. I was busy browsing Pinterest for bottle labels when I came across a make up picture that I had pinned a while back. It was of a ventriloquist doll and I was so smitten by it again so at the last minute, I decided to change my costume and Mr NQN as my ventriloquist doll partner. I told him that if he wasn't able to find a costume he has to get dressed up as a woman so he agreed readily ;).
Mr NQN and Fred the Dead skeleton
It's funny what you find in the top drawer of your bathroom cabinet. It turns out that I had a tube of white cream makeup from a couple of Halloween's ago. The make up is actually very easy to do provided that you have the necessary items: white cream makeup, black liquid eyeliner, black pencil eyeliner, brown eyeshadow, pink blush and red lipstick. That's all you need! The key points are the whites of the eyes, heavy brows, exaggerated eyelashes, freckles and most importantly the mouth which is actually drawn on your lips and chin. I was ready for my guests!
Every time there was a knock at the door, I disappeared from view while Mr NQN answered the door and led them to the table of ghoulish goodies. He described the various dishes that I made and lifted a cloche here and there before lifting up the cloche in the centre which had...
Me under it!! {Insert evil cackle here!}
I love scaring people and everyone's reactions were priceless and uniformly scared with the exception of one person (more on that later ;)). Several people did ask if we cut a hole in our table, just because that might be the sort of thing that I would do. We didn't but if you want instructions on how to scare your guests pretty then they're towards the end of the post.
After a scare, you need to give guests something stiff to drink. Have you heard of highball glasses? How about eyeball glasses? These are eyes that were printed out using a colour photocopier. SO easy and effective and you can hide the fact that you're nothing like Martha because none of your glasses match. People will be too busy ogling the eye once they've finished the drink. Just find some scary eyes and print them out in colour and trace around the bottom of the glass and stick them around the edge with a glue that sets clear.
Sadistic Dentist Sangria With Teeth and Eyeballs
I did a "pumpkin" juice but the Sadistic Dentist Sangria complete with teeth was the drink of choice. A few people did ask for extra "teeth"...
Would you like something light to start with? How about some slime dip and pus with bloody corn chips (black bean dip with herb oil and beetroot corn chips). I prefer the more "romantic" description personally.
Armadillo Road Kill Cake
A celebration should always have cake and this Armadillo cake was a celebration of sorts. Oh dear, but look what happened to this poor armadillo! It looks like he got run over. Curiously the lifelong and staunch vegetarian Tuulikki loved this cake. Ironic too because when she illustrated my book, she didn't like drawing the armadillo as a cake! This will have its own separate post in case you want to make a whole armadillo or one that has been run over. The number of emails that I get about wanting an armadillo cake is astounding.
Maple and pumpkin donuts
Okay now for something less ghoulish! How about a maple and pumpkin baked donut?
Kraken Rising Pie
I haven't forgotten our monsters of the deep. The Kraken Rising Pie was filled with feta and spinach with a cyclops kraken on top!
Beating Heart Cupcakes
Dessert was also from the kind doctor who always seems eager to perform surgery. These beating heart cupcakes will have your beloved's heart throbbing!
Zombie Cookies
As the zombies advanced, we simply found the best way to avoid becoming one of them was to bite off their heads. Who knew that it was so easy?
Bloody Body Parts (dumplings)
Oh dear, look what the mad doctor has been up to! He's been surgically removing ears and body parts and keeping them in a jar to feast upon. He always was a little odd...
Misfortune Cookies
Don't worry if you get a bad fortune Dear Reader, you see there's no other kind in this jar!
Bug Coleslaw
If you don't look closely at the salad, you might not notice the little ants or bugs in it. Apparently they're good for additional protein though!
Bloody Mary Ribs
For the meat course, the mad doctor was only too happy to serve up his specialty-Bloody Mary Ribs. He assures us that Mary is the name of the pig and not a human...
Spider Cookies
Don't you just hate it when you have an infestation of spiders? And they just will not get off your cookies? Just eat them anyway, protein is good for you!
What's under the witch's hat? You'll just have to read on Dear Reader ;) Witches always have a trick or two in their palms...
And if any guests dare venture into the bedroom, they would get a scare with a ghost that moans and twirls when it senses you are near! Many of the props like this were from the fabulous The Party People who have the biggest selection of Halloween items that I've seen!
Careful of entering the kitchen!
Kraken Rising Pie
Did you make this recipe? Share your creations by tagging @notquitenigella on Instagram with the hashtag #notquitenigella
Sometimes I look back at my Halloween recipes with an immeasurable sense of pride . This Kraken Pie is one of them. It was so effectively creepy and delicious that I almost wanted to make this often, out of Halloween season too.
If you're looking for a healthy Halloween salad then this Bug Coleslaw is just what you need. It's slightly ironic that I made this bug coleslaw as I'm inveterately scared of bugs. The only kinds that I don't mind are those tiny spiders that are known as money or luck spiders and ladybugs. This isn't quite as scary, the black sesame seeds perhaps resemble more ants than actual bugs but I wanted a salad or healthy option to serve (and if you have kids, ghoulifying anything might make it instantly more appealing).
I saw this Halloween recipe idea all over Pinterest and I thought that it was brilliant because a) they look grotesque and b) it was a great savoury food option and c) everyone loves dumplings. There's always plenty of sweets at Halloween but often not enough savoury ideas. I actually used my mum's wonton recipe for these but I've given simple instructions for using bought dumplings too as you can certainly use those to great effect. If people complain that they're not home made, you can just say that these were the body parts of the last guests that complained ;)
Halloween food can be as delicious as it is scary. These Halloween Bloody Mary ribs are a case in point. They're made with a delicious mixture of tomato, garlic, vodka, Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco just like the cocktail!
This Halloween dip recipe actually has its roots with Cuban and Mexican Frijoles Negros or black beans. The recipe for Frijoles Negros or black turtle bean dip comes from an e-book called Food For The Dead by Sean Callinan (a colleague of Mr NQN's). It didn't specify whether the beans were dried or tinned but the cooking time indicated that they were dried.
I love how easy it is to make things look Halloweeny. Anything dark and mysterious lends itself to the holiday and this Halloween sangria is no exception. The next time I'm going to visit my dentist I'll think of this Sadistic Dentist Sangria. Oh hang on, that will probably make it worse. This sangria looks a little like blood especially when you have teeth floating in it. I was originally going to use those fabulous tooth lollies from childhood. It turns out that they're not easy to buy anymore but you can find them in a mix pack of "retro lollies." And that just makes me feel old. Then the teeth lollies sunk to the bottom so I went with plan B, carving them out of apples using a small paring knife. This is a really easy three ingredient sangria that is full of flavour.
Halloween is a great time to start confronting your phobias because a lot of Halloween motifs are probably people's natural phobias (snakes, spiders, cats). Isn't it funny how everyone has their phobias. For me, I can't even look at a snake while for others it's rats or spiders. So you don't see many snake items here on the blog but I'm quite okay with spiders unless they're large and hairy. And that's why I made these Spider Cookies for Halloween.
Transform plain ice cream cones into the most delicious chocolate dipped witch's hats this Halloween! I fill them with a delicious red velvet (aka bloody looking) ice cream and I promise that these will cast a spell over all of your guests.
I know that I seem over the top but even I would hesitate to cut through my actual table. So if you have one of those extendable tables, you can make it a "surprise" table by unscrewing the hinges leaving the centre section open. Then get some sturdy ply board and tape securely to the table and each other making sure to leave the space for your head. The other part of this is the cloche and you'll need one big enough for your head and of course someone to "assist" you with enacting the whole scenario. It's worth it for the reaction I promise (although as I mentioned not worth cutting a square into your table ;)).
One by one, the guests filed in. Some made a dramatic entrance such as Mr NQN's sister Amaya who knocked on the door as the wolf from Red Riding Hood. Amaya who is actually pregnant reclined on the lounge dramatically declaring herself full from eating.
Shortly after came Tuulikki as Little Red Riding Hood. I was under the table at this point and dying to know what was happening because everyone was giggling.
Then came thunderous banging as Laporello beat on the door so hard that I could feel it from my hideout under the table. I had no idea that it was him and I actually thought that it was a neighbour annoyed by our party noise.
Dramatically Laporello ran in wielding an axe. He was the axe man saving Little Red Riding Hood from the wolf. Little did I know this and all I heard was lots of laughter and rounds of applause which made staying under the table difficult. I'm a meerkat and I definitely like to poke my head about and see what's going on.
Of course guests had to have their photo taken and there was nowhere better than in the kissing booth! Alas our kisser has seen better days but it didn't stop anyone from smooching with Fred the Dead! Here was our first guest Tania as a vampire complete with bloody fangs.
The Girl Next Door came as a belly dancer-don't worry she is fully qualified to do this having done years of lessons.
Teena and Annabel arrived as a hungry vampire and a pumpkin. Annabel it must be noted didn't flinch whatsoever when I jumped out from under the table. I think I'm known as the crazy auntie who goes nuts once a year.
Here's Louise as a witch - we didn't get her legs in the photo but she had red and white striped stockings and shoes just like in the Wizard of Oz.
Viggo was an elaborately dressed vampire who managed to be intelligible even with fangs.
Carl and Charlie came as Elvis and Kitty Cat. They seemed to take a real liking to Fred the Dead.
And of course Amaya, Laporello and Tuulikki as the trio that stole the show with their act. It did occur to me while planning "the surprise" that if I scared Amaya too much, she might go into labour. She didn't! Phew...
I know it makes me sound a little intense but I have been known to utter the phrase "Commit to the costume!" several times. I always appreciate a good costume and Miss America and Queen Viv always put a lot of thought into their Halloween outfits.
Queen Viv is an excellent seamstress whipping up her Voodoo Priestess dress freehand but my favourite part were the chicken bones. Yes they were real dried and painted chicken bones! In fact Miss America's jacket is "four roast's worth!" according to two of my favourite co-conspirators who ate a lot of chicken in the pursuit of these bones.
Julie arrived as a heart eating zombie. Hopefully she enjoyed the heart cupcakes!
While Elly arrived as the Queen of Hearts and found herself a new boyfriend.
People mingled and ate and of course I did forget something-I forgot to put out plates. Oops!Thankfully Voodoo Priestess Queen Viv conjured some up.
Carl gave us his wonderful Elvis and Frank Sinatra version of "My Way" giving us some of the evening's musical entertainment.
Girl Next Door improvises
And then it was game time! One game that we like to play is the winking murder game. One person draws a slip of paper that says that they are the murderer. Over the course of the evening, they then have to wink at people and the winkee has two minutes to find a place in which to dramatically die.
Prizes would be awarded for the most dramatic death, the last person standing and the murderer if they managed to escape capture. Which gave rise to some very dramatic deaths like Laporello's electrocution death and Charlie's fit. And you would not believe who was the murderer...
Tuulikki following Viggo and trying to catch his eye for about ten minutes. Much to everyone's amusement
Mr NQN's mum Tuulikki! Alas Tuulikki decided that she would kill everyone in about twenty minutes. She would not so subtly walk around to people, catch their eye and then wink at them. No matter how much we tried to explain that the murderer has to remain anonymous she followed people like Viggo doggedly pursuing them trying to stare into their eyes.
Charlie's chocolate spiders
She was unaware that we were all watching her and oblivious to all of the good natured laughter. I didn't want to meet her eyes but she cunningly took a photo of her winking and put it on her phone and said that she wanted to show me something...The last one standing was Tania who covered her face with her bat winged sleeves. The winking game was followed by a game of scary themed charades (where even the tax office rated a mention) and the last of the visitors flew off on their broomsticks at 1:30am...
As a loquacious ventriloquist dummy, I'd like to thank you for being such delightful guests and coming with me on my tour of the gothic mansion!
Love and creepy chills,
Lorraine,
xxx
So tell me Dear Reader, will you be celebrating Halloween this year? Have you ever trick or treated? And what time is your witching hour (or the time that you usually stay at parties until).
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