This maple bacon cheesecake my Dear Reader was the result of not having eaten or baked for a while. A bacon, maple cheesecake. I know, stop looking at me like that please. But I promise that if you love bacon and maple syrup on pancakes, then this might not be so odd.
I know, I'm going to be known as that crazy bacon lady after this. After all there was bacon jam, bacon caramels, bacon ice cream, bacon roses, bacon salt and bacon pate. But hear me out, bacon is related to pancakes via maple syrup and also cheese... and maple syrup is a sweet bridge between both bacon and cheese. Do you see where I am going? This cheesecake is not for your combination phobic or your fussy eater though I will admit. After all you don't want to waste perfectly good bacon and cheesecake on someone that is going to turn their nose up at it. Save this for your most bats***t crazy friends and family, the ones that won't flinch when you offer them a piece of this gloriously gooey, thick cheesecake studded with candied bacon and walnuts with a thin chocolate cookie crust and maple glaze.
"Do you think planes still need airsickness bags?" I said to Mr NQN as we were walking down the aisle to our seat on a plane and a sickbag poked out of a business class seat. We were headed towards the economy section and passed a man who was grinning wildly at his business class seat and trying to catch the eye of everyone that walked past. But when we reached our seat I was confronted with one of my worst nightmares on a plane...
The smelly passenger that reeked of body odour.
I wasn't sure where the smell was coming from at first. The woman that sat next to me in our row of four looked well dressed enough, I would say Byron Bay expensive hippy chic. Her hair was done nicely and when we sat down she was already seated under a blanket and she glared at us. I think she was hoping for a free row but alas, this was a full flight. As Mr NQN has long legs, I gave him the aisle seat and I settled in beside her.
I sniffed the air and then she shifted and raised her arm. What emanated from underneath the blanket was a violent, almost visual case of body odour. I gagged and turned to Mr NQN and nestled my nose towards him. "Your nose gets used to smell" I kept telling myself but my nose never does. Having a keen sense of smell is as much a blessing as a curse. As it was an evening flight they served dinner and I forced it down while leaning into Mr NQN. The woman's arms waved as she changed channels and with each lift of the arm came a waft of pungent, foul odour.
"I feel nauseous" I whispered to Mr NQN. I wasn't being melodramatic (this time ;)). They turned out the lights and he could see that I wasn't feeling well so he swapped seats with me so that I could be closer to the bathroom and further away from her. Mr NQN handed me a air sickness bag and I flagged down a flight attendant. "I'm sorry but do you have anything for nausea?" I asked her. She returned with the kind steward who asked me a few questions and offered me a ginger ale. As he went to fetch it, I got chills and dizziness and then I opened the air sickness bag and deposited my entire stomach contents of my dinner into the air sickness bag.
Yup Dear Reader, that's why you need air sickness bags...
The rest of the flight wasn't great. I was loathe to drink anything as the nausea wouldn't leave me nor would her smell. When we touched down and deplaned, I breathed in a deep breath of fresh air. When we got home I ate and cooked nothing for the next 20 hours. But of course hunger gets the best of you and your stomach starts rumbling. And then the baking bug bites and before you know it, you're making something that is borderline bats***t crazy and you're so hungry you don't know what to do about it.
So tell me Dear Reader, what sort of things or people do you dread when flying? Have you ever sat next to a smelly passenger? Would you ask to move or would you sit tight?
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